I have worked with a lot of clients in the 2 years that I’ve been doing wardrobe consulting, and I feel completely blessed to have had the opportunity to not only inspire a new wardrobe but to also inspire some confidence. This whole wardrobe consulting gig is not just about the clothes – it’s a good bit of psychology mixed in there as well.
We can have the most luxurious and expensive wardrobe, but if we look in the mirror and don’t feel worthy or pretty or happy or comfortable, then it matters not even a little bit what our clothes look like. I’ve been having some of my own struggles over the last few months, and I am here to tell you that all the pretty clothes in the world aren’t going to make you feel great about yourself until you’ve accepted yourself exactly where you are today.
Maybe you’d like to lose some weight, maybe you feel that your hips are too big, or your neck is too long, or your legs are too skinny. Clothes can take care of the aesthetic portion of that issue – focus on your natural waist to distract from the hips, steer clear of v-neck tops so your neck isn’t disproportionately elongated, find boots with thinner circumference to fit your thin legs. But clothes aren’t in your brain speaking to you about your self-worth, your happiness, or your body issues.
The best thing I’ve learned over the last few months is to be gentle with myself and accept that today, I am right where I need to be. I am on a journey and I will eventually be in the place that I want to be, but for right now, in this minute, I am where I should be. Acceptance of yourself goes a long way towards propelling you to where to want to end up. Instead of wasting your time thinking all of your usual negative thoughts, once you’ve come to a place of acceptance, you can instead focus on your plan or path to reach your goal.
Personally, I’ve been having a lot of anxiety issues lately. Instead of being hard on myself for having anxiety and not being able to control it, I have accepted where I am with my anxiety and am on the path to helping myself. I said “Here is where I am now, and that’s ok. Here are the things I can do to help myself to a better place” and then I work on doing those things to help myself. For example, yesterday, I bought a month pass to a yoga studio and have a goal to go to at least 3 classes per week because it helps me feel calm and gentle and more accepting of myself when I am finished with a class.
So if you’re having trouble with something in your life or inside of yourself, stop focusing on the negative and instead allow yourself to be okay with where you are right now. Work on some fun ideas to help you get to where you might want to be, and see if a friend or family member might be interested in supporting you on that journey. It’s a wonder how this new found acceptance and positivity will make you feel about how you look in your clothes tomorrow morning (hint – it’s good!).
If anyone is interested in having me help support you on a journey you’re on, I’d love to be a supportive pen-pal of sorts. Please feel free to leave a comment or email me. I find that sometimes supporting others can really be a confidence booster in itself. ( Lauren@StylizedExistence.com )